For many people, university is an exciting time filled with new experiences, new people, and new achievements.
However, a recent study by the National Union of Students found that a whopping 9 in 10 students experience stress, lack of motivation, and panic during their time at university.
Why is this?
Although there are many reasons why students might experience these feelings, a common theme in all research is expectations.
Some of the types of expectations and pressures on students include:
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Academic: University is a big step up academically for many students. The work can often be more difficult than previously experienced, there is a lot more independence and less guidance, and there are multiple deadlines to be balanced at one time. Getting to university is a big achievement, and many students feel the need to do well to make sure they are fully utilising their time studying. This can lead to a lot of stress and pressure.
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Social: There is often a pressure to make great friends at university and have a good social life. However, this isn’t always possible. For some students, things might not work out with flatmates or coursemates, or maybe they don’t enjoy nightlife and/or socialising is not always easy. This can lead to a lot of students feeling like they aren’t making the most of the “university experience”.
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Career: There can be a lot of pressure to make sure work is secured after finishing uni, and many hold the idea that university gives you more chance of securing work, which is not always the case. The job market is becoming increasingly competitive, and many students struggle to find work after university. For a lot of people, not being able to find work after finishing uni can lead to feelings of disappointment, worry, and uncertainty. There is also often the expectation that students will find work in their field of study. However, this isn’t always right for all students, and some students might feel unsure about what career they want in general. Before we even get to university, there can also be huge pressure to know what you want to do and have it all figured out.
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Financial: For a lot of students, university is the first time they might be financially responsible. It can be really difficult to budget, and money is a really common worry. Many students might also be expected to find part-time work to fund their studies.
Whether placed on you by friends, family, coursemates, lecturers, or yourself, having multiple expectations on yourself can lead to stress and exhaustion and ultimately dampen your university experience.
If you are struggling to cope, our team is here to help. Click the message icon at the top of the page to join the chat queue to speak with one of our practitioners.
We have put together some methods of coping with pressures and expectations that might work for you:
Handle the Immediate Stress
If you have several pressures placed on you for a long period of time, every day can start to feel really stressful and overwhelming. This can make it difficult to focus which can make achieving your goals even more difficult.
The first thing that may help is handling that immediate stress so that you can start to think more clearly.
This involves taking things one step at a time, and breaking the worries down into smaller, manageable steps.
Have a look at some of our content to find out some stress management techniques:
Managing Stress: How Can We Help?
Keeping Your Cool: Uni Exam Stress
Set Short Term Goals
It can be difficult to know where to start when you feel an overwhelming amount of stress and pressure.
Rather than thinking about the bigger picture and all of your stressors at once (as this might cause more stress), try to break your thoughts down into smaller, short-term goals. This might include creating a C.V. to help secure part-time work, or scheduling a meeting with your tutor to talk through your latest assignment.
Setting smaller goals will help you break down your worries and only focus on the issues at hand. Additionally, having smaller goals that are more achievable may help to boost your confidence.
A great way to set yourself goals is using the goal tracker at Kooth. This is a quick, easy, and convenient way to keep you on track.
Avoid Comparisons
It is natural for many of us to compare ourselves to others. However, university is a performance-driven environment, and it can often feel like everyone else is achieving. This might make you feel left behind if you are not getting the results you wanted.
This applies for socialising, too - it might feel like everyone else is having an amazing time, and that you are the only one who is struggling.
However, no circumstances are the same, and there are many reasons why students differ in their social life or studies.
Although easier said than done, try not to compare what you are doing to other people. It’s important to remember that people tend to only share the good parts of their experience and what they are happy for others to see. What we see from others doesn’t always represent the full story of their experience.
When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, ask yourself, “Is this helping me or harming me?”. More often than not, you will find out that comparing yourself to others is not beneficial for you.
Practise Gratitude
When you have lots of pressures and stressors, you might be more focused on what is not going so well in life.
Practising gratitude can help you to identify and acknowledge some of the positive parts of life and the things you are grateful for.
One way you can start doing this is through keeping a gratitude diary. This involves taking time each day to notice what you are grateful for. These don’t necessarily have to be big things; they can be small elements of your day that make you happy, such as a good phone call, a nice coffee, or even listening to music.
It may take some practise, but this is a great way to give your brain a break from worrying, and, over time, you might start to feel better about things happening around you.
Identify What You Cannot Control
One way you can start to take some of the pressure off yourself is by identifying what you can and cannot control. Some of the things that are out your control might include:
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The flatmates you are placed with
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The job market
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Clashing deadlines
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What other people think of you
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Your home circumstances
Over time, helping to identify what you cannot control may lead to feeling more at ease towards some elements of your life.
Talk to Others
Finally, talking to others about how you are feeling can be a great way to relieve some of those pent up feelings. You might also find that others around you are feeling the same way, which might make you feel less alone. For advice on talking to others, check out How To: Reach Out.
If you don’t want to talk to others, keeping a journal is another way to release some of those feelings.
Although pressure at university is very normal, feeling under constant stress can affect our mental health. It can be a cause or a symptom of mental health difficulties, such as anxiety and depression. If your feelings are becoming unmanageable or occurring every day, reach out to your GP to see if they can direct you to some support. Your university may also be able to help you.
You can also chat to our team here by clicking on the message icon at the top of the screen. This will put you through to a chat queue, where you can speak with one of our practitioners when they are available.
We hope you found these tips useful. Some of them might work for you, others might not or may take a little time. Everyone is different and will have different ways of managing expectations.